Being a Spiritual Director
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about being a spiritual director. It is both an honor and a responsibility to have this special relationship with someone. I am sometimes amazed that I am a spiritual director.
When I was in my 20s (and probably early 30s), I felt like my faith was not adequate. I compared myself to others and I fell short in my comparison. I thought faith meant having so much trust that no questions needed to be asked. And I had lots of questions.
At the time I belonged to a church where questions weren’t appreciated. I would be in a Bible study and ask a question, and there would be silence and stares at me. The key, I was told, was to have trust. And having trust meant asking no questions. Everyone in the Bible study needed to have the same views, and sometimes I had a different opinion. I felt very much like I just wasn’t a person with enough faith, and maybe I was even an outsider.
Since that time, I have learned a lot of things. I have learned not to compare one person’s faith to another’s. I have learned that asking questions is ok. I learned that each person’s spirituality is unique and based on their own life experience. I have learned that faith is concrete, not an abstract idea. I have learned that being authentic is the only way we can be true to ourselves. I have learned that to be a spiritual director, I need to be self-aware about my own faith. I have learned that not everyone has to have the same view. I have learned that being open to each person’s story, deep listening, and asking thoughtful questions is a way of enhancing faith.
We live is such challenging times and I am reminded of that with every session I have with a directee. I grow with every session with a directee and I realize that life with Christ is meant to be always growing, always transforming. And I am grateful to be in Christ’s service by being a spiritual director.
Rev. Linda Holbrook, BOD Chair, Fellowship of United Methodist Spiritual Directors and Retreat Leaders: Hearts on Fire.
These Reflections are the views of the author.