By Linda Douty Mischke
Since moving to a retirement community a year ago, my husband (a retired United Methodist pastor) and I have had a bird’s eye view of about 400 folks between the ages of 65 and 105. It’s been a privilege to be both inspired and challenged as we observe the ways in which faith impacts these vitally important years.
Scripture tells us that we are to “honor each day that we may have a heart of wisdom…” (Psalm 90:12, Psalms for Praying by Nan Merrill). Truth be told, growing older is not an option (it happens to all of us!), but gaining a heart of wisdom is a choice. “Honoring” our days carries the notion that we learn the lessons of our past, live in the present, and through God’s grace, garner wisdom to take us into the future.
Not everyone is open to this divine process of aging and spirituality. It is said that as we age, we naturally divide into two camps: those who embrace the fluidity of change and those who “congeal.”
The first group has these characteristics:
- open to varying points of view
- willing to challenge old patterns of behavior and belief
- focusing not on what I can’t do anymore, but what I can still do
- allowing the soul to expand in greater inclusiveness, acceptance, and love
The “congealed group” looks like this:
- old patterns harden
- judgments and opinions are set in concrete
- there’s an emphasis on what is being lost as we age, with little awareness of gain
- the soul contracts into a smaller and smaller world
To be sure, aging has obvious losses and challenges, and those need to be acknowledged and mourned. But we can claim the hope expressed in Isaiah 43:18-19, “Do not remember the former things, or consider the things of old. I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?” So how can we best “perceive” this last stage of life in a creative, faithful way and lead others to do the same? How can we embrace this “new thing?”
Walter and I have picked up some useful pointers from the wise men and women surrounding us.
- establish daily practices of gratitude in thought, word, and deed
- take seriously the command of Jesus to “Be not afraid!”
- keep curiosity alive with fresh creative outlets and ongoing learning
- embody humility by embracing a “beginner’s mind,” admitting that we don’t know everything!
- accept death and decline as a natural part of life
- stay connected with the Source of All Life through regular spiritual disciplines
- interact with others in a community of faith and mutual support
Indeed, we are “blessed to be a blessing” as long as we have breath. Even with the ongoing limitations of age, we can still give gifts to those around us—even if that gift is as simple as a warm smile and a kind word.
Linda is a teacher, retreat leader, speaker, spiritual director ,and writer on topics related to spiritual formation and personal growth. Trained at the Shalem Institute for Spiritual Guidance, she has served as staff and presenter for the Academy for Spiritual Formation. Author of numerous books, including: How Can I Let Go If I Don’t Know I’m Holding On? – Setting Our Souls Free; How Can I See the Light When It’s So Dark? – Journey to a Thankful Heart; How Did I Get to Be 70 When I’m 35 Inside” – Spiritual Surprises of Later Life. Linda is the mother of 2 sons, grandmother of 5; lives in an Episcopal Retirement Community in Memphis TN with husband, Walter Mischke-a retired United Methodist minister.